Let’s talk about being adults and loving someone. Let’s talk about hard work and commitment. Let’s talk about the one word that we’re afraid holds too much work and effort when all seems lost: Marriage.

Love is a tough word. You know why? Before you can love, you have to accept what that entails. Yes, love is beautiful. It can heal and open the tightest of hearts. It can open the eyes of the lost, the hurt. It can make you laugh and smile, or even cry. It can achieve the impossible. But when you don’t fully commit to love, when you lessen the definition and don’t take it seriously–Love can fall apart. We always blame love on everything when we have heartbreak. How it’s chalked up to wanting the impossible, and wanting to throw out the joys of beautiful memories to find solace in tears and loneliness. But I’ll tell you something that no one wants to hear. Not even I sometimes.

Love takes work.

The problem I see so many times is the will to love is lost. We have no problems saying I do when it’s easy. When the world is perfectly in lovely order in our minds with wedding and bliss. Yet we see the storm on the horizon, the winds howling on the glass panes of our beautiful homes. No sooner do we have little or no time to prepare, when suddenly the rain is pounding, the lights flicker and we are brought back to reality. And it’s not the rain that does us in. Not the wind or flashes of lightning and booms of thunder. Oh no. It is when you look at the “love of your life” and become so full of despair that the rain won’t end, and that it’s just too hard. BAM. That’s all it takes. One moment of “I’m sick of this.” or “We’re never going to get through these times” And instead of our foundation of relationships being on the Lord, we have placed them in an all too well-known setting of the WORLD’S VIEW of “perfection” and have placed it all on the IMPOSSIBLE. That , my dear friends, is when we find substitutes. That’s when instead of reminding ourselves that God is our rock and that He is the all-knowing and loving God we break down and bury ourselves in ruin. So tell me how many times have you know this to happen? Does this sound familiar?

A husband cheating on his wife who seems distant or too busy. A wife confiding in another man about her husband who just doesn’t get her and looks at other women for lust. Alcohol becoming the medicine for each night to bring comfort to the restless and weary who can’t seem to remember what was so great about their spouse in the first place? Time after time after time. PEOPLE, IT DOES NOT GET BETTER WHEN YOU FIX THE HOLES IN LIFE WITH SIN! It’s a sick lie that people fall into that turns seemingly innocent white lies into a shattered mosaic that was once so honoring to God and held such hope. When you say you are going to marry someone, you mean for better or for WORSE. Not “For the better and now that I have to put in this extra effort–I think I’ve put in enough and want out.”

Love isn’t the stock market. You don’t just pull out because you feel you’d better cut your losses.

If you think like that–Don’t you DARE lay a hand on someone’s heart. And this goes for you dating and engaged girls too. I know it seems like it’s all fun and innocence and that young love is blind…but when you begin to say those words I love you, and you step into the promises of a future with a man, you need to seriously think about what a future with that person means. Are they someone who can lead and put God first in your relationship?  Are they someone who you can spend the rest of your life with and love each day? And I don’t mean the “love” you feel now. I mean the love that only God’s love can give, that can forgive and strive for accepting the person’s bad just as much as their good. If you can say that, and really understand the seriousness of what you’re taking on, then I support that one hundred percent, and so will God.

I can tell you from my own personal perspective–Love is a commitment forever long and nothing short of always.  I am dating a man who is first and foremost my best friend. He knew me from a friend level before we ever thought romantic. We hung out and just enjoyed each other’s company and we had the best times! Even in our relationship today, I have to question myself each and every day: Are you truly loving him in a way that honors God? Are you loving him in a way that God would approve of? You know I ask this even now sitting and writing to you readers..And I just can’t believe how much my definition of love has changed with each and every year I am blessed to live. The wonderful thing about love is it’s always growing. It’s always striving and aiming for the next milestone of achievement. For me it’s getting past the mistakes and my personal failures of taking my focus off God. Now for other’s it could be just getting through one more day without holding anger or resentment and coming back to the truth and life in forgiveness.  It could be reaching for Jesus instead of a bottle of emptiness or another person to fill the loneliness for just one night.

To all of my sweet and amazing women out there: Don’t be afraid to love. God sent Jesus to come and die because He loved. And as long as you remember to love Him first, and make Him your Man of your heart, there is nothing stopping God from giving you what are His gifts of true love. Whether it be a career that honors Him and brings you joy, a man who He deems is the one to love you fully and truly, or a life of missions and spreading joy to others. In His love there are no limits. There are no broken promises or gray areas. There is only the promise that you will always have Someone who holds you every step of the way. So take the first step and don’t be afraid:

Just say yes to love.

In Love,

joyfulpraisegirl

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